Monday, December 29, 2008

Tick Tock

Last month Trina and I decided we're ready to start trying to conceive again. It was a happy conversation filled with hope of a Christmas-made baby. Then I started looking at her charts and counting calender days. Uh oh. She was set to ovulate ON Christmas or at least darn close. Our Dr's office was going to be closed from the afternoon of the 24th until the 29th. Trina cried. After all of these months of self imposed waiting,  the thought of letting another cycle pass us by was too much to bare.

Dec has been rough. Both friends and family have given birth to beautiful babies. Our due date came and left. I had a minor breakdown standing on my porch watching it snow in my area of Texas for only the second time in 12yrs. Something about watching the fragile, little, awe-inspiring flakes hit the ground and disappear unraveled me. Symbolic much? We battled through Christmas day trying hard not to give in to the "this would have been our baby's first Xmas" thoughts that buzzed around constantly. It didn't help that the fertility monitor read "high" Christmas morning. She peaked on the 26th and there was nothing we could do about it. 4 more weeks... Tomorrow my wife turns 30. She NEVER imagined she'd turn 30 before becoming a mother. It's been a hard realization to face. Her baby clock is ticking so loudly it keeps me up at night. 4 weeks isn't THAT long, right...? 

8 comments:

N said...

It's not THAT long, but when every hour feels like an eternity, it's forever. :hugs: I'm glad you guys are back in the game, though.

Dani and Tonka said...

I said by 30 I would be pregnant, then 30 came...and I wasnt. BUT I did get my BFP while i was 30 about 4 months before my 31st birthday....I didnt mind it at all =)

Jen said...

I am so sorry. Isn't it amazing how a few weeks can feel like a lifetime? I had a hard birthday this fall when I realized that I would not be a mother by 30, a thought that I always took for granted. Hang in there...

welcome2ourworld said...

4 weeks arn't that long compared to the 9 months you soon will be waiting for your baby to arrive :D Keep up the hope...

having-our-baby said...

I had a mini breakdown finally after holding in the "would have been our baby's first Christmas" feelings all day on Christmas. Sucked.

journeytowardsourbaby said...

It's crazy how long 4 weeks can seem, our clinic shuts down over christmas too but we're on a break right now anyway. Hope it goes quicker than you imagine right now!

The Amily Diaries said...

I think RE's offices should be open 24-7! We can't tell our body when to ovulate. Try looking into a teaching hospital. Our RE had fellows (drs training in a specialty) to contact after hours and preform IUIs on the weekends.

okseriouslyreally said...

Hugs to you! You two will get your babe....and the timing will be exactly right. Take care of each other and happy 30th!!