Seriously???

The difficulty rating in our life is getting ridiculously out of hand. The little black cloud that has followed me around for as long as I can remember has grown into a huge, all encompassing supercell thunderstorm. If I listed all of the hardships we've faced in the past few years in bullet points, I'd probably slit my wrists. Dare I ask "What else?"

Monday morning I was woken up by the sound of Trina retching. Still half asleep, I asked "What's wrong? Are you ok?" Between heaves she seemed pretty irritated that I'd ask such dumb questions. In my defense I was really groggy. Of course she wasn't ok. She had sharp stomach pains and was vomiting over and over. Reminded me of why we went to the hospital before we had the babies. We got ahold of the on call doctor at our peri's office who said she needed to be seem immediately. Great, a trip to the ER. I offered to drive her and drop her off since there was no way Dexter was going to go anywhere near the bevy of sick people that would be in the waiting room. She declined and drove herself to the hospital while sleep deprived, violently ill and in pain. I felt so helpless. I had one baby at home with me, one at the hospital he was born at, one at the hospital he was transferred to for heart surgery and now my wife was in yet a third hospital. Really universe? Really?? At the hospital they started an IV, ran blood work and gave Trina meds for pain and nausea. A ct scan of her abdomen and pelvis showed very angry intestines. The sent her off with a diagnosis of colitis, another handful of prescriptions and put her on a liquid diet. To add insult to injury they told her to pump and dump for 24hrs due to the ct contrast still in her system. Trina's barely keeping up with the boys' milk needs so watching that precious liquid go down the drain is physically painful.

Fast forward to the next day (yesterday) as I was at Linus's bedside. The nurse and I were repositioning him in his bed which takes lots of time and two people due to all of his wires, lines, tubes and leads. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, but ignored it. A few minutes later the CVICU clerk came in and said I had a call. Me?? Cold dread hit me. Only an emergency would have someone track me down there. Trina's voice was frantic. "Baby there's a snake in the house and two of the dogs are hurt. I don't know what to do!" It took a second to register. I was expecting news about one of my boys or my wife, but a snake? Never saw that one coming. "Don't do anything! I'll be right there. Stay away from it." "I can't let go and Dexter's crying" My mind reeled "What?? What do you mean you can't let go??" "I have it pinned by the neck with the pooper scooper. I'm so scared" I was in shock. My wife had ahold of a poisonous snake while my infant son cried and two of my dogs were bitten and in unknown shape. "Don't move, you'll be fine, I'll be right there" I was an hour away and less than a nano second away from freaking the fuck out. In the calmest voice I've ever used I told her "I'm going to hang up, but I'll call you right back. Don't move" I called my sister who lives about 20 minutes form us and told her that a snake was in the house and 2 of my dogs were hurt and to go to my house NOW. I called Trina right back and talked to her until my brother in law got to her. I broke every speed limit on the way home.

When I got there, Antone was in the driveway with a headless juvenile cotton mouth. Trina was on the couch holding Dexter, rocking him gently. She was white as a sheet and shaking. She's not just scared of snakes, she's down right phobic. I can not believe she pinned that thing. I would have taken her for the run- screaming-from-the-house-with-or-without-the-baby kinda gal. I could not be more proud of her and her protective mama instincts. Makes me tear up thinking about the terror she was feeling until help arrived. Thank god Antone got there so fast.

After a quick check on the dogs to make sure they weren't in critical condition, I packed her and Dexter up in the car with some essentials and took them to the nearest hotel. Yes, the snake was dead and logic would tell you that the odds of there being another snake were slim to none, but logic doesn't count on nights like that. I couldn't leave her there alone with the baby again. The best money is spent on peace of mind. I knew she'd never sleep in our house last night and she'd been through enough. Better to face it in the light of day.

After dropping them off, I went back for my dogs. The normally thin faced, tight lipped pooches looked like baby shar peis, but with less cuteness and more bloody drool. I headed out to the emergency vet clinic with them for treatment. Several hours and several hundred dollars later the dogs were back home and I met my wife and child at the hotel for a few hours shut eye. And here I thought the hard part was going to be having three precious babies home at once. Never in my wildest nightmares did I dream up any of this.

Once again, I AM still writing Linus and Dexter's stories. Life just keeps interrupting my creative thought processes, among other things, like my sanity...