Friday, February 5, 2010


Wednesday Trina and I both had our first ultrasounds and blood work for this cycle. Hers came up perfect. Mine, not so much. I have a 22mm cyst in my right ovary. Our Dr assured us that it was considered "small" and that there was a good chance it wouldn't interfere with our plans. It would all depend on the blood results. If my estradiol was low, all was well and we could start as planned. If it was high, I'd have to go back on bcp and have weekly u/s until it disappeared. Then we could start our IVF cycle. Things generally don't go smoothly for us, but I wasn't prepared to hit another roadblock before we'd really even begun. We've already waited patiently through a 3 month break due to the holidays, a family trip and a lab closed for updates. It's amazing how quickly I went from nervous excitement to despair. I didn't want to go to work, I wanted to go home and crawl under the covers. I didn't even know if my cyst was going to be a problem and I felt like a failure already. Trina assured me it wasn't the end of the world and did her best to cheer me up. I went to work and tried to stay busy and not think about anything IVF. When I saw our Dr's office on my caller ID 6 very long hours later, my stomach dropped. Our nurse used her most chipper voice to tell me my estradiol was 41, so we had a green light to start meds on Friday. I asked her if she was sure and she laughed and said she was. I almost cried. All that panic and worry and self doubt for nothing. This is going to be a long road if I fall apart at every hiccup. What can I say? I'm new to this. I've never had the success of a cycle actually depend on "me" before. I've been to every Dr appointment, helped pick our donors, obsessively charted her temps and symptoms, gotten prescriptions from the pharmacy, found awesome deals on HPT, researched every possible aspect of TTC and documented the whole process for prosperity, but never has the ultimate responsibility of the outcome been mine to shoulder. This time we're a true team.


2momswithaplan said...

A true team, indeed! As it should be!

Don't be so hard on yourself... some of these things you can't control. Just keep riding the wave - I have a feeling your IVF cycle will be a success!

cindyhoo2 said...

scary indeed. I am so happy that Mr Cystie was not too bad. On with IVF!! I have such a good feeling for you both.

GIsen said...

Hey- look at it this way, unexpected news isn't always bad/end of the world news. This situation turned out not to be THAT bad. Remember that and you'll be fine.

Don't be so quick to think the worse!

Carrie said...

so excited for your IVF journey! I truly hope it works for you. :)

Meredith said...

All I can say is that I empathize. Each little thing that goes wrong or goes right is a momentous high or low.

I'm SO very glad that your cyst wasn't a problem!