Saturday, September 4, 2010

Wait... I'm not ready!

Logically, I know my babies could arrive at any time, but my brain just can't quite compute that fact. I'm fully aware that 90% of triplets come on or before 32 weeks. I also know that we're sitting smack in the middle of our 30th week, but it just doesn't add up to me. How can those thumps and bumps and hiccups in my wife's belly really belong to babies that are baked enough to start life in this big scary world? Occasionally I get a flash of what it would be like when they're here. I'd hold them and smell them and love them... Then my brain crashes my daydream with a panicked "They're not ready to come out, it's too soon!!"

Trina is having similar issues. She loves being pregnant and doesn't want it to be over. This will be her one and only pregnancy. Something she never considered. She's always wanted a big family and figured on several pregnancies. Hitting the "instant family baby jackpot" never crossed her mind. These thumps and bumps and hiccups are her only ones. These bladder kicks and cervix punches will never happen again. It's overwhelming for her to come to terms with that. She's not ready to be forever-finished being pregnant. She adores the connection and closeness she has with the boys. Pregnancy causes a beautiful and sacred bond between mother and child. She's just not in a place where their postpartum relationship seems like a step forward and not a severing of ties.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's just not fair that you have less time to prepare for more babies.

30 Week Belly, 47", +44lbs

19 comments:

N said...

Not fair at all. (but, from this vantage point, pretty excitement, separate and apart from that.) Fingers crossed that those babies beat the odds and give you a good long time.

Shely said...

I had a lot of the same feelings as Trina when I was pregnant with my trips. We have an older daughter and only wanted 2 kids and MAYBE more in the future and this is what we were handed with. There was always a possibility of another pregnancy if we only had 2 kids, but with 4, we are well past done. BUT with that being said, there is a great feeling knowing that your family is complete regardless of how many pregnancies you have. I never felt "complete" with my oldest and I knew I wanted more, but with the triplets I know I am complete and its a great feeling. Hopefully she holds on for 5 or 6 more weeks!

Somethingtogrow said...

Here's hoping you can both really savor these last few weeks of pregnancy. Thinking of you!

Movie Gyrl said...

Also keeping my fingers crossed that the boys stay in much longer. Its normal for anxiety to set in when you know the odds you are up against. I understand how its hard to think this is her only pregnancy. But maybe just maybe after you've been on the other side another pregnancy will be discussed. Never know :)

Courtney said...

I can agree with you whole heartedly on this Robbie...but Trina has done so well so far. You have turned into my "well I know someone who's preg with triplets and has done this by this week..I want to do that too" person LOL! Take for instance, the 3lb babies at 28 weeks, totally a goal of mine! We are all in this together! Keep up the great work :)

2 Chicks 1 Hatchling said...

I can completely relate. Although I am only 26 weeks along I already feel a sense of sadness. I really enjoy being pregnant. This is something my body is meant to do and I dearly love this closeness I feel with our growing baby.
You guys have done SO well keeping those babies cooking. You've beat a lot of odds so far and I'm convinced you'll continue to do so! I'm hoping you have at least another month and a half!

Pufferfish said...

Oh, I totally relate to this! By the end I sure was ready for it to be over, but I knew I'd miss a part of it. Don't worry, you are ready. Well, you are never 100% ready, but you sound like you are in a good place.
My friend with triplets hung on to 36 weeks. I hope you have at least a few good weeks left!

anofferingoflove said...

wow, i cant believe you are so close! how did that happen?!

i totally understand trina's mixed emotions. i cried and cried and cried the day before i delivered - i just wasnt ready to be not-pregnant. luckily, nature has this problem worked out well -- you get the most amazing consolation prize ever! ;) ((()))

CoffeeBlue said...

I started lurking around the baby blogs just before Trina became pregnant and can't believe the time is already here. I'm very excited for both of you. And hope those babies give you a surprise October birthday.

leikay2 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leikay2 said...

Beautifully written. I understand what your wife is going through emotionally.When I was pregnant with my twins #'s 3&4 I thought the same thing. It was a huge reason why I became a surrogate. I wanted to be pregnant again..
Anyway, Good luck. I look forward to the post in the near future that says Their here!

poppycat said...

I could have writen this post myself several weeks ago. It really isn't fair that there is less time for fewer babies but I have hopes she'll hold on to them for quite a while longer. I hope they'll bake long enough that she'll be ready for them to come when they finally do. Amazing - you'll have thre beautiful boys to hold soon Robbie!

Miss K said...

I've been reading along with you blog from the start and that is so exciting that they will be here soon, I too am at 30 weeks with my first pregnancy (with only 1 baby boy). I can't beleive how fast time has gone. Enjoy every second of it...good luck!

tbean said...

I feel like Trina just got pregnant a few seconds ago...how is it already time to prepare for delivery?

Yeah...less time to get ready for more babies. I totally feel that. At just barely 12 weeks (tomorrow), I feel like I need to start thinking about gear and nursery stuff because so many twin moms have warned me not to expect much from tri. 3. And yet...I'm still not sure I'm actually having babies at all...how can it be time to research strollers and cribs? With a singleton, I could comfortably put this off to 20 weeks, but I don't think I can start that late here.

Growing up Clangley said...

Is there anything that you need? we have a ton of nb diapers we never got around to using and several cute onsies that we would be glad to send you. let us know if you are interested. send me an email alangley at triad dot rr dot com

Megara D said...

Congrats on 31 weeks! Here's to a few more!

cindyhoo2 said...

What a poignant post! It's true that trina gets an experience few are offered yet the price is that the experience is so fleeting. It must almost be hard for her to relax and enjoy her pregnancy. I for one will join the chorus hoping Trina is part of that lucky 10% who gets a longer pregnancy.

bellygirls said...

I'm hoping those boys stay in and cook for a few more weeks... for their benefit and for Trina's! :) You two are doing beautifully and Trina looks awesome!

existere said...

Believe it or not, there will be a time after the birth when the pregnancy seems so far away and foggy. I'm not sure when that happened for me and our twins, but certainly it's been that way for a good long while and they've only just turned one. I don't know. Something about them being here, and the new incredible level of connection. It's powerful.

Also, I didn't really believe I was having babies, even as they were slicing into my stomach. No lie.

But you know what? They were here, and I was ready. You guys will be, too.