Monday, December 29, 2008

Tick Tock

Last month Trina and I decided we're ready to start trying to conceive again. It was a happy conversation filled with hope of a Christmas-made baby. Then I started looking at her charts and counting calender days. Uh oh. She was set to ovulate ON Christmas or at least darn close. Our Dr's office was going to be closed from the afternoon of the 24th until the 29th. Trina cried. After all of these months of self imposed waiting,  the thought of letting another cycle pass us by was too much to bare.

Dec has been rough. Both friends and family have given birth to beautiful babies. Our due date came and left. I had a minor breakdown standing on my porch watching it snow in my area of Texas for only the second time in 12yrs. Something about watching the fragile, little, awe-inspiring flakes hit the ground and disappear unraveled me. Symbolic much? We battled through Christmas day trying hard not to give in to the "this would have been our baby's first Xmas" thoughts that buzzed around constantly. It didn't help that the fertility monitor read "high" Christmas morning. She peaked on the 26th and there was nothing we could do about it. 4 more weeks... Tomorrow my wife turns 30. She NEVER imagined she'd turn 30 before becoming a mother. It's been a hard realization to face. Her baby clock is ticking so loudly it keeps me up at night. 4 weeks isn't THAT long, right...? 

Saturday, December 20, 2008


Tomorrow my wife comes home. Only one more lonely night spent in a half empty bed. :)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Flying Solo

My wife left bright and early this morning to visit family in the great white north. What exactly am I supposed to do with myself for the next 9 days??

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Our "Not So Due" Date

Today was supposed to be our due date. As a memorial to our little one, we purchased a half acre of trees to be planted in his memory.

Instead of spending this day bringing our child into the world, we are spending it in reflection of the last year. We may not have gained a new family member, but through hard work and tremendous effort, we have gained endless personal insight and a healthier foundation to build our family on.

Memorial Trees