Pincushions and Change of Plans

Wed Trina had her first acupuncture appointment. Everything went pretty well considering she's a hardcore needlephobe. :) She had some anxiety and a few waves of dizziness, but made it through. She was exhausted for the rest of the day. Our acupuncturist was great. She took a very detailed patient history and commented on some of the very things I've brought up to my OB only to have him dismiss them as trivial or nonexistent. I'm really glad we went and am starting to regret not going sooner in our TTC journey. Live and learn.

At our last post-BFN OB visit, our Doc said he'd like to do a follicle scan and possible trigger shot this cycle. I'm all for the scan, but don't think the trigger is necessary. We'll see. After counting days we realized that Memorial Day would interfere with the timing. Our ovulation would most likely coincide with their 4 day weekend. Ah well, after some discussion we decided to take a break this cycle. That way, we would have 4 acupuncture appointments under our belt, save a little money to pay for the scan and be ready to go next cycle. Well... After a few days Trina started getting really sad about being on a break so we compromised and got one vial. This cycle has no Cl0mid, one acupuncture appt and only one ICI. Here's rooting for the underdog. :)

I was going to tell you 'Happy Mother's Day' but you're not a mother.

This from my coworker today, just as my day was kicking off to an awesome start. I started my period today. Someone really has a sense of humor to give a gal TTC her period on Mother's Day. This is Trina by the way. I don't remember how to log in to my own sign in name. I'm just so frustrated with talking to people who have no clue what this is like. So many times, I've heard, "Well, if you can't get pregnant, you can still adopt" or, "You can just let Robbie birth the children." People have no idea how important the actual experiences of pregnancy and birth are to me. Am I really the only one who feels so strongly about this, or is it just that they were 16 and didn't have to try for a year or more to make babies? And seriously, if one more person tells me I look pregnant because I've gained so much weight, I'm gonna hurt them.

So, I know I generally leave the blogging to Robbie. She's waaaaaay funnier. Plus, I've been feeling pretty negative. Not much fun to read. But Robbie keeps telling me I need to talk to people who have empathy, and not the idiots I work with who seem to enjoy hurting me. So here I am.

Happy Mother's Day to those of you this applies to. The rest of you, I'm feeling your pain.

BFN#6

Anniversary Weekend

Sunday was our 2yr wedding anniversary and we fled the city to spend 4 days at the beach. It was glorious. We have SO much fun on our annual trips to Pt A and this weekend was no different. We rented a cabin at our favorite kitschy spot, the Laughing Horse Lodge, and spent our time eating good food, flying our new kite and playing in the sand. We decided to take the puppy with us in order to get in some one on one bonding time and to keep up with the house training. We had a blast with her. She decided she likes the beach, but hates the ocean. Can't blame her since she did kinda get sucker punched by a wave. :) 

Tomorrow is 13DPO and we haven't tested. If we can hold out, we'll just wait until 15DPO or blood depending on the outcome of this cycle. Once again I've just sort of pushed the TWW out of my mind. Until today I've only been vaguely keeping track of time passing with a very small part of the back of my brain. Self preservation I guess. Today has been a bit different. The what if's have crept in and I haven't batted them away. It's fun to daydream about pregnant bellies, midnight craving runs and ultrasound pics... I want that to be MY life. A few days more and I'll know if that's my reality or still just a nice thought.

Babies Babies Babies

Tuesday one of my coworkers found a baby dove in the parking lot of her apartments. It had somehow survived the night of major storms and flash flooding. Nearby were two other baby birds that hadn't been so lucky. She brought her to work and I started hand feeding her. Today she took her first wobbly flight. Rehabbing wild birds is so rewarding & I can't wait until I can release her.

We decided to name our puppy Olivia. She's been SO much fun and fits into our family perfectly. Being a terrier, she's smart as a whip, but has a wide streak of willful disobedience. Luckily she's cute enough that I barely even want to wring her neck the 12th time she tries to pull a fast one on me. The same "fast one" she's tried 11 other times and gotten caught. She starts puppy obedience classes on May 8. She's either going to be the star pupil, a complete embarrassment or maybe a spunky little combo of both. :)
Last weekend I FINALLY got to meet my beautiful niece Cecilia. She is the happiest, most outgoing child I've ever had the pleasure to make smile. She's the spitting image of my kid brother at her age. I'm hoping to see alot more of this little cutie.
As for us, we're 6DPO and having vague temps and zero early pregnancy symptoms. Only time will tell, but I'm definitely not holding my breath. I'm finding it harder and harder to do anything but endure the TWW. I miss the optimism I had a short while ago. Perhaps I should work on getting that back. Trina is having anxiety about not being pregnant and is haunted by thoughts of not being able to get pregnant. These BFN's are really doing a number on us. This weekend we're going on a romantic beach get away for our 2yr wedding anniversary. I think it' s just the thing we need to recharge our batteries. :)