6dp5dt (11dpo)

Trina started cramping yesterday. They weren't very strong, some were only twinges, but they were there. This morning she started spotting. Even though both of these things can be signs of implantation & early pregnancy, it really scared her to see blood. Going through the miscarriage and 11 failed cycles has left us both pretty gun shy. She told her manager what was going on just in case it got worse and she had to leave early. Her manager told her to just go home and lay down, no point in waiting to see if it got worse. She spent the day resting and drinking lots of water & the spotting stopped until just a little while ago...

Over the last few days Trina has had a bevy of what could be construed as "early pregnancy symptoms". They could also be progesterone or estrogen side effects or absolutely nothing... She's been getting hungry every 2-3 hours. She's had odd food cravings. Example: last night she ate a half a jar of pickles, pouted because there weren't any more then washed them down with 2 huge glasses of chocolate milk. Yuck... She's had several bouts of nausea and light headedness. She's been extremely thirsty. She's been more tired than usual. Her boobs hurt like mad and her belly is a little distended.

Our first beta isn't scheduled until March 5th which is 13dp5dt (18dpo). As of now, Trina does not want to do a HPT until that day or maybe the day before. She's scared to death to see a negative test. I've been trying not to even think about the possibility of getting a negative test. I've also been avoiding things like knowing how many dpo we are or counting how many days are left until we test. The less I think about specifics, the better off I am mentally and emotionally. I hate that the icy fear is just under the surface waiting to grow into instant panic at the slightest nudge. I yearn for the day when I'll feel grounded and secure about this baby makin business.