Question#2: How or why did you choose your donor? Looks, personality, availability, a little of each?
Trina and I decided to go with an anonymous donor for two reasons. Firstly and probably most importantly, we couldn't think of anyone we knew that would be willing. That makes for an easy choice. I also worried that if we did choose a known donor, that things would be too complicated. There were so many "what if's" in my mind. What if it was so awkward that our present relationship was strained? What if he decided he wanted more to do with my child than we had agreed on. What if people thought of him as the dad, not just the donor. When would we tell our child who their bio-father is? Would we tell anyone else before then? So anonymous donor land here we come.
We chose our donor by looking for someone who would best represent me, the non-bio mom, genetically. Our donor is tall, thin, has dark hair and blue eyes like yours truly. That's where we started our search. Then we looked at personality. His is very similar to mine in that we have the same favorite animal in the zoo, we had both recently read the same book and his sense of humor is not unlike mine. I really liked that part of his personality was unlike mine, but in a good way. He is said to have great patience. I couldn't have less patience if I tried, but I wouldn't try because I don't have time for that crap. :) It went even further than that. His father is built like my father. His sister played the same instrument in band as my sister. He's an animal lover and a respecter of nature. We had a similar story of childhood shenanigans. All in all he's alot like me, but with sperm. Expensive, make-my-wife-wanna-die-from-cramps-and-nausea inducing, baby makin sperm.